Nightly Whispers
by Serigala
Summary: A small collection of stories about Tsume and Toboe. Sometimes angsty, sometimes contemplative, sometimes sad...
1. Watching You

This is a collection of stories about Tsume and Toboe and their relationship that I wrote for the 30nights-challenge on livejournal.

All mistakes are my own and English is not my mother language. I hope you still enjoy it. ) Tell me what you thought. Constructive critizism is always welcomed - flames not.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything about Wolf's Rain.

**Warnings (for this story):** possibly angst, slash (if you hunt for it)

**A/N:** I like thinking of Tsume as someone who has dark thoughts. There's no reason for it. :D I love the color of his fur. So, why not combine it?  
But still I believe he's a totally nice character and has not a single evil hair on him. Maybe he is a little bit OOC here...

**Watching You  
**

I'm lying here. The night is dark and the cool wind makes my skin tingle as it tousles my coat.

Still, it feels oddly comfortable.

You are laying next to me, coiled up, your fur against my fur.

Mine is as dark as the night and yours seems to be so much brighter. Whenever moonlight touches you, you almost look like an angel. At least that's what human beings would say. I have to use this word 'cause there's no counterpart for it in our language that explains how beautiful you look.

Somehow I think I disappear next to you. The darkness is slowly swallowing me. I'm a ghost.

Do you see me?

Of course not, your eyes are closed; you sleep.

I know you're dreaming.

Your nose sniffles from time to time. It's an odd sound in this silence. It feels wrong in this place where nature seems to be so superior. On the other hand, we're part of this nature and I feel comfortable though it's still strange.

Your paws twitch. Are you fleeing or running across a meadow? Is someone running next to you? I wish I knew who.

Am I jealous? Maybe.

But watching you sleeping in this very moment is my own pleasure. Mine alone. No one else can see you right now. I'm the only one. You're mine.

Your head lies close to mine. I feel your breath whenever you exhale.

A cloud moves between our noses. It's foggy and for a moment I cannot see you anymore.

I wished you'd stop breathing. So I could watch you without being interrupted.

I know it's cruel to think that way but I can't help it.

I could stare at you all night but sleep is important and almighty. Often, my eyes just close against my will and I am forced to cease the watching.

Plus, without sleep I'd be too weak to move on. And finding the paradise is important. More important than watching you. At least that's what Kiba says. But to me, the latter means the world.

You're so innocent – yet weak. At day I have to protect you and care for you. I always pretend I don't. I've achieved what I wanted: you trust me. I do it for a very selfish reason. You sleep so close to me because you trust me. And I am able to watch you. So selfish. After all I missed in life I think I can allow to be that way. I don't hurt anybody.

Still, I would give my life for you. That's part of the deal. A deal I made for myself.

I guess you know already. I'm so obvious.

I'm not sorry. Don't expect me to be. Maybe you don't.

Usually I feel restless. I've been alone all my life. I can't stand Kiba trying to control me. I only can find peace and calm in watching you. While sleeping, you look even more innocent.

You're nothing more than a young kid that wants to discover life.

I know life. And I know that, one day, you will get to know it, too.

And then your innocence will vanish. The world is cruel. You know that term. But the truth is much more than just cruel. There's the really bad side you don't know yet.

I want to watch this innocence as much as I can. The final day will come too soon and it'll be gone. Forever. And I will lose my calming influence. I crave so much for it because I never had it. And now, when I've finally found it, it's disappearing again. I am addicted to it.

So let me watch you till I can't anymore.

You exhale once again. I hate these clouds. It would really be better without them.

Sometimes, in moments like these, I believe it'd be better if you died.

Life wouldn't get you and your precious innocence. It would remain and I could watch it a little longer, maybe.

I watch you and feel guilty. I shouldn't think such things. But then you exhale again. And the cloud is back. I feel this silent, childish rage again. An inhale, and the guilt returns. And then an exhale, dying would be better…

It's awful and terrible.

The moon disappears behind a cloud. It's getting colder. I snuggle closer to you.

Darkness comes again. It swallows me once more and makes me a part of it.

And so is my heart while I watching the small clouds escaping from your nose, encasing you; so far from me.


	2. Look At Me

This is a collection of stories about Tsume and Toboe and their relationship that I wrote for the 30nights-challenge on livejournal.

All mistakes are my own and English is not my mother language. I hope you still enjoy it. ) Tell me what you thought. Constructive critizism is always welcomed - flames not.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything about Wolf's Rain.

**Warnings (for this story):** angst, slash (if you hunt for it)

**A/N:** Just an idea. :)

* * *

**Look at me**

It's late at night and we're sitting here, waiting for Hige and Kiba to return. Your eyes stare into the darkness in front of us.

Do you that I'm here?

I'm sitting next to you; so close I can feel the warmth radiating off of you. The moon is shining but still it's cold.

I nudge you. But you don't react. I feel like crying. It feels as if I was the only one here.

Please recognise me. Please see me. Please acknowledge my small existence.

You're a giant of a wolf. Even Kiba is not as intimidating as you.

I nudge you again. You growl.

Don't get angry, please.

You shoot me a warning glare. It's like ice. So arrogant and powerful. It seems as if you don't see me clearly. As if I was some nothing not worth the effort to look at.

I feel so small. Even smaller. And somehow it gives me the impression I am almost translucent. Just as the clouds that move in front of the bright moon but they never really cover her light.

No muscle moves under your dark fur. I take a few steps backwards.

I feel lonely while staring at your back.

I know you think I'm nothing more than a kid.

I know I can be annoying, especially for you who doesn't have much patience.

I know I'm weak and a hindrance.

I know you hate me for it.

But please, give me a look!

I know you will never look at me as an equal. You're so strong and independent. I can't survive with nobody taking care of me.

You do take care of me. Waste your precious time helping a weak puppy.

So, why don't you ever look at me? Look at me like you would look at Kiba or Hige?

Instead, all you do is giving me that strange look that turns me down. I hate it when you do that. My heart aches.

I don't want anything else. Just look at me. Look at me seriously. Be serious. It's all I crave for. Treat me as a wolf. A normal wolf. Not a silly little puppy.

Please see me. I don't want to be ghost.

The night is so dark and vast, I feel so lost. You're almost invisible in the dark. I feel lonely. The cold is creeping into my fur.


	3. Babysitter

This is a collection of stories about Tsume and Toboe and their relationship that I wrote for the 30nights-challenge on livejournal.

All mistakes are my own and English is not my mother language. I hope you still enjoy it. :) Tell me what you thought. Constructive criticism is always welcomed - flames not.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything about Wolf's Rain.

**Warnings (for this story):** slash (a little bit)

**A/N:** Dependence is a big thing in the relationship between Tsume and Toboe, isn't it? I noticed that I used that word once again while writing this.

* * *

**Babysitter?**

We've been travelling almost all night long until Kiba finally decided to make a rest.

We lay down between some trees and tried to get at least a little bit of sleep until sunrise. It wouldn't be long – the clouds already wore that wonderful, tale telling color. Mist over the grass. Soon, birds will begin to sing.

We lie here and try to fall asleep. It's not really cold but I snuggled close to Tsume because he's the one with the best warmth-sharing. When you have a fur, it's normally quite unnecessary to need another one's body heat, but hey, I'm still young and _it's Tsume_- the one that always cares for me, even if he does not admit it.

"You're creepin' up on me, you know…" he mumbles.

"I'm your biggest fan, ya know?" I nudge him.

For a moment, I thought I saw a grin plastered on his face. But as I looked more concentrated, it was gone and his face was as stern as it ever was.

"I'm your babysitter, not your idol." He stated with an annoyed undertone in his voice. Unfortunately, it sounded too fake in my ears to stay silent.

"You're my idol AND my babysitter." I grin. "And you're a great babysitter." I sigh.

"Is that so?" He cocks his eyebrows. I nod, smiling. He's so Tsume; always teasing but nice when you know that his serious face is nothing more than a facade to hide his true self.

I look up at him because one day, I want to be like him. Strong and independent. He _is_ my idol.

I stare at his form. Even under the black fur you can see the muscles and the power that lies deep inside of him. He's always there to help me and guard me.

"I feel safe when you're by my side."

There. I said it. It's out. My stomach twists. That was not my intention. I'm pretty sure this was a sign of dependence and weakness to him. Does he hate people like that? I swallow. After all, I don't want him to be angry. Not with me.

First, he doesn't respond. I can hear him breathing. Anxiety on my side. I wonder if that statement was too silly to be answered.

Minutes pass by without a word. A bird sits on the tree above us, head buried in downy feathers.

"I know."

It takes a minute to get what he means.

His eyes are half-lidded as if he was lost in the vast world of thoughts. Then, suddenly, he looks at me.

There's something in his eyes I can't quite figure out. A sparkle or something like that. It's scary because it makes his gaze so totally different from usually.

"Now, let's sleep, kiddo." He closes his eyes completely and the magic of the moment is lost. His left ear twitches. He himself looks like a little kiddo as well. I grin broadly.

"Okay." With that I snuggle closer to the black fur. It's downy and soft. I bet the bird's pillow isn't half as cuddly.

He growls, playfully annoyed.

_I like you, too. I hope you'll always be by my side and protect me. _At least until the day I am a real wolf. Maybe you can stay then as well.


	4. Why Tsume Hates The Night

No header anymore – I think it's clear now. :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything about Wolf's Rain. And if I did, I wouldn't change anything.

**Warnings (for this story):** slashyslash, the evil f-word

**A/N:** I bring you more of the fluff:D

All mistakes are my own and English is not my mother language. I hope you still enjoy it. :) Tell me what you thought. Constructive critizism is always welcomed - flames not.

* * *

Tsume hates the nights. He really does.

He hates the dark, he hates the sounds. He hates the calm breathing of the other wolves lying around him. He hates Hige's snorings. He hates Kiba's kicking legs when he's dreaming. He hates Cheza stroking their furs in order to soothe them. He hates the owls' nighly songs. He hates the stars in the skies. He hates the bright moonlight above their heads. He hates the rustling of the grass. He hates the silence. He hates that he can't see far. He hates that it is cold. He hates everything about the night.

What he hates most was something that he considers as far worse than all these things: the contemplating.

In the dark and the silence and the soft whispers of the environment, his thoughts lead a life on their own.

You might wonder why exactly he hates this so much. Actually there's nothing bad about it, it's just thinking.

Why Tsume hates these nightly excursions of his mind are the things his thoughts revolve around. Every. Fucking. Night.

Well, maybe 'things' is the wrong term. 'Who' would be better. Indeed, the one who keeps his mind working so hard is nobody else than the "puppy". The puppy named Toboe.

Nothing condemnable, that's for sure. But if you are Tsume, this means death to your ego. Tsume likes to be in control, but this iss far away from being controllable. You can't tell your mind to think this or that, it just thinks.

So, everyone has to accept his thoughts. Even Tsume, although always tries hard not to think about the little wolf. But he always fails.

Tries not think about the smile (but nods silently as he remembers that it really lightened the day), not about the never ending curiosity with which he stares at butterfly or the rainbow (but agrees that it looks cute), not about his clumsy steps (but grins lovingly when the image appears in his mind), not about the soft fur (but feels a longing to snuggle into it), not about his tiny howls and barks (but feels the urge to chuckle at this thought), not about the look in his eyes when he's sad, not about the stupid remarks or jokes he makes, not about how much Toboe cares for him, not about the feel of Toboes paws when he wants to convince him to play hide-and-seek, not about the cute noises he make when he sneezes.

And he definitely tries not to think about Toboe's lovable and charming personality.

The consequence of all this is that his heart starts racing whenever Toboe is acting sweet again. Tsume hates it. His heart racing! Because of the baby in their group.

Looking at Toboe shouldn't differ from something like observing your prey…. Hm…. Wrong comparison. And that's what makes it that difficult for Tsume. He willingly plays along to the fucking play his fucking mind proposed.

The worst, at any rate, was the fact that his mind started talking about the heart and stolen and gift and not breaking and all this sappy stuff. Awful. Really, really awful and terrible and horrible and shocking and abominable…. And embarrassing.

Really, Tsume feels totally embarrassed to think that. If he could, he would blush. But he can't help it. It's like he _has_ to think about these things.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe his heart had already been stolen by a little puppy with brown fur. But just maybe. A maybe doesn't mean confessing, doesn't it? Tsume doesn't like confessing. Especially not in matters of heart. _His_ heart in particular.

He likes to pretend to be the strong wolf that cannot be affected by anything.

So he'll stay silent. Because this all was just maybe. You can't confess when there might be nothing, right?

And during that time, he tries to fight his thoughts that emerge at night in the dark. Of course, he will try to push them down but after some time he'll willingly let them take over.

Love is pretty difficult. Especially when you are Tsume and about to fall for the cutest wolf in your 'pack'.

But psssst! We don't say that. It's a secret.


End file.
